So we live next door to my in-laws. It's good if we're out of milk or something but if you want to have sex with your wife or watch porn or something then it's hell on earth. There's no real sense of privacy when you live next door to your wife's family. Most times we maintain some sort of separate life. But my door is open all the time to anyone and everyone, unfortunately.
Today Natasha's brother's daughter's baby momma and her two kids are hanging out with us. The kids are fun and crazy and cute as hell. I wish they'd actually listen to me, though. I spent about two hours today trying to get them to bed while they yelled at me and threw things.
We've had some fun times, though ...
That video was a few days ago. Good kids. And we usually have fun together.
Today is different, though. I WAS going to to go the movies today. But somehow things changed and I found myself taking care of four screaming kids by myself for five or six hours straight. Not fun.
Plus there's baby daddy drama, too. Mommy and daddy are yelling outside like no one's business. It's about stupid shit, too, but the daddy is a drunk asshole who likes to flex his dick and run everyone's life because he has no life of his own. Yelling and screaming and cussing. Not fun.
The squirtguns were fun, though ...
Another source of stress is the fact that my wife's cousin Alicia is staying with us temporarily. I like her. i enjoy her company and she's a fun person to have around. It's just that, and I feel so bad, so guilty, she has SUCH a nice body! She has big breasts and a huge, amazing ass and she always wears short, skimpy outfits that show off her curves.
I like Alicia a LOT! But I also don't want to creep her out. I know I'm weird. I know that. I am a deeply self-aware person. But over the past year or so I've been getting progressively stranger and more shut off from the outside world. Some people have secretly complained to my wife behind my back about how I've been getting weirder and weirder.
I'm seeing a therapist. I'm seeing her once a week. Hopefully things will change in my brain and I'll stop hating myself.
Wish me luck.