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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

As For Me And My House ...

Me and MY family are great. No problems. I love my wife and my kids are my life. I'm working really hard at work but I know in my heart that work is in no way the most important thing for me. My kids are my priority and I really do love my family with all my heart.

But besides them, I just hate my whole entire life.

Because of the other family living with us, there are now six kids in this house! There's an angry 2 year old, a hyperactive 3 year old that doesn't know how to be good or listen, my own 4 and 8 year old daughters, a super hyper 6 year old that never listens, and occasionally a maturing 11 year old.

When this angry mob of children are all together, the loud cacophony of noise that they produce is absolutely mind-breaking. There's yelling and screaming and arguing and cussing and fighting.

These little fucking kids are running this house and ruining my life!

My home life, my LIFE, makes me want to Cobain myself in the fucking skull. Seriously!

I try to be good and friendly and just let the madness of my life roll right off my back ...

... but, try as I may, my life is just this loud mess of crap.

And I'm not even mentioning my failing health.

Things are bad for me. My life is running me. And I wish to gawd that I could go back to being in control of my existence. But I don't know if that's possible for me anymore.

Or maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's all in my paranoid, bipolar head.

I just don't know about anything right now.

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