NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest or, you wuss!


Saturday, February 19, 2011

Trying To Have "The Talk" ...

That's a picture of my oldest daughter.

Seriously, how beautiful is she, right? I mean, I may have to scar up her face one night while she's sleeping to make sure she's not TOO pretty when she gets older. She's so gorgeous I'm worried about what might happen when she gets into her teen years. I'll be beating boys away from her with a stick.

Hell, fuck a stick. I'll use a 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire. On fire!

I watch wrestling, so I'll know to have the GOOD weapons!

So anyway, I have literally spent the last three days trying to finish writing this one blog post. It's been hard for me to finish it. So bear with me here. I don't want to sound like the bad guy. I swear I'm innocent here.

Now, my lovely wife has already mentioned this at length on her own personal blog, so I can therefore assume that today's topic is okay fort me to mention here. However, due to the sensitive nature of said topic, don't be surprised if this post suddenly disappears in a few days.

Are you ready?

Then let's do this.

Tom Petty: Don't Come around Here No More

For the last ten months my "other" wife Lees and her three incredibly loud and rambunctious kids have been living with us. That's almost a year. That's a long time.

Now, I originally agreed to her living with us for two reasons.

First, I had just been through a nasty robbery at my work and was starting to develop serious issues as a result of them. I thought that having someone else in the house, someone fresh and new, might help me with my deteriorating mental state. My wife's cousin stayed with us for a number of months a number of years back and it was really refreshing and a delight to have her around.

Secondly, I was under the impression that it would only be a temporary thing where her and her kids would live with us for a couple of months and that while she looked for a job and a new place to stay that she would help us out with rent and bills and such.

Lord knows we need the help.

Now it's almost been a year and she is still here. She has not found a job or any place to live. She has burrowed herself here in our home and as far as I can tell she has no intention of ever leaving.

I should preface that. She DOES intend to move to Seminole, Oklahoma in May with my wife's family. My wife's parents decided that they would run away from their problems in California and move to Middle Of Nowhere, Oklahoma. You know wwhy they did that? Because "GOD" told them to.


You know what God told US, my wife and I? He said "You don't have to follow those other weirdos. You're fine right here. Screw them."

Lees is apparently going to go with them, which is fine by me. My wife's family hates us anyway. Natasha's mom and dad and brothers, they all just hate us and badmouth us and they like to think that we're both these horrible people that owe them so much. And they're right in the sense that we owe them so much. But, jesus, you don't have to be such a fucking dick about it.

Anyway, Lees is moving in May. But she said the same thing in December and it fell thru. And chances are they are going to fall thru again. And again. And again. And guess what? WE HAVE A BABY ON THE WAY! MY parents are happy about that. Natasha's family doesn't give a rat's ass and thinks we're assholes and now they want us to pay them back the money we owe them. AND they want us to put up with another big ass family in OUR house being loud and rude and inconsiderate to us.

Well, it's MY house! OUR house! And we have a baby on the way. So we need to reset our lives. Everyone fucking OUT! No more toxicity and drama and arguing and anger and bullshit! WE WANT OUR LIVES BACK!

Dennis Leary: Asshole

We plan on having "the talk" with Lees sometime soon. We want to give her three weeks. We want our lives back.

My wife told her parents about our plans. It was to warn them, give them a heads up. But now we believe that Natasha's parents told Lees and now she is treating us mean and rudely and even turning Deinna, our niece in Oklahoma, against us.

We don't want to kick her out, but we have a baby on the way and we need our house back. And we also know that kicking her out is just going to be another reason for my wife's family to hate us and throw stones and treat us like bad people.

But we have to do this. We have to!

At least that's what we keep telling ourselves.

Bowling For Soup: Life After Lisa

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