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Monday, March 7, 2011

Deconstructing My "Other" Wife's Facebook Posts ...

So, after almost a year of Lees living with us rent free and her not having to pay us a fucking dime, we are suddenly expecting another baby and kindly asked her to find somewhere else where she can live and mooch.

Now she's pissed off at us and getting angry at us, like we're assholes for letting her take over our house for a year and not pay us a goddamn dime. And she has taken to getting on OUR family wi-fi and going on her facebook page and shitalking behind our backs about what assholes we are.

But she doesn't realize that OUR internet is a privilege, not a right. WE pay for it. It is OURS. So why should we let her angry, pissed off, "you guys are assholes" face use the stuff that WE pay for and SHE just mooches?

So we have been shutting down our wi-fi and taking the cords and trying to make sure that she learns a lesson here.

But of course she's not learning a lesson. She's not respecting us, the people who took her in during her time of need, respecting the family that inconvenienced themselves for almost a year to allow her and her rude kids to take over our house. No, she is just hating us even more and she's using her facebook page to pretend to be the victim and rally all of her ghetto friends against us.

I have read a very recent post of hers. I believe it is from this morning or afternoon.

Let's go over it.

A) It is painfully obvious that Lees and everyone she knows do NOT own any sort of dictionary or spell check.

B) Trish says "Don't let it get to you. That's when they win." DUH! WINNING! My family is winning because we are awesome rock stars from Mars and everyone else is just another troll.

C) So Robert is one of Lees's baby daddies. She has three or four different baby daddies, I believe. So the good Sir Robert suddenly LEAPS off his horse to help the damsel in distress, right? What a joke! If he cares so much about them then why isn't he still with Lees? If he is so angry about her situation then why hasn't he bothered to man up and be a father to the kid he hardly ever sees? And now he's going to leave Oregon and travel to Sacramento and apparently kicking my ass. And you know what? I would be okay with that if afterward he took Lisa out of my house.

D) He says "Kicking my daughter is not a fucking option for me." What the fuck does that mean? It seems as if he is admitting that at times he gets so mad that he actually kicks his daughter, however at this juncture that would not be prudent. But he can't actually mean that, right? Then what DOES he mean by that? This is like some freaking old school tv Batman riddle.

E) Is Robert going to kill me? Because he says there that "I'm not scared to go back to prison for the well being of my kid and her family." Is that a threat? I mean, is that a threat that I could prosecute about? I believe that I could. I believe that there is a small chance that I am in danger of having Lisa's ex-con baby daddy coming to town and trying to cause bodily harm to me. And that is not good.

F) Lees begs Robert not to "cause a sean." That's my favorite part. It's my absolute favorite part of this whole thing. Robert is going to cause a sean. That's classic. I wonder, though, will he cause a Sean Penn or will he cause a Sean John clothing line? Maybe he will be intellectual and cause a Sean Hannity or aybe he will feel his R&B roots and cause a Sean Kingston. Who knows which sean he will pick, but I'm personally praying that he picks a Sean Connery because that would be WINNING!

G) Lees wants to tell Robert the "whpole" story. Well, Rob, the whpole story is that Lees is ungrateful and thinks that she should be taken care of instead of being an adult. We politely wanted her to find some place else to stay and she decided to whine and cry about it and act like the hurtful victim to gain some semblance of sympathy.

The Rolling Stones: Sympathy for the Devil

I really don't care anymore. Fuck this. I hate drama and she is just this damn drama magnet. I'm starting to really get sick of her innocent little helpless victim routine. Fuck that. she had a year to try and get on her feet and instead she just mooched off of us and treated us like shit. Fuck that.

I'm seriously starting to get all Charlie Sheen about this bullshit. Fuck her and her ungrateful ass. She can just go back to the troll hole where she came from. She needs to park her nonsense. She's messing with a mexican with Adonis DNA here.

This is it! I’m done. It’s on. Bring it. The wildfires are spreading. The meek are scattering. It's on. Sorry, Middle America. Yeah, I said it. I’m gonna write my sermons, I’m gonna deliver them like truth torpedoes, and Lisa is just gonna fucking take it or leave it.

I've got TIGER BLOOD, bitches!

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