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Sunday, October 2, 2011

Post #1,752: It's Just Another Sunday ...

It's just another sunday for me. No Jesus Christ, no mindless praying, no guilt being shoved up my ass. It's just another sunday for Steve.

So my wife and my newborn are asleep in the bedroom while my youngest and I party hard on the 50-mile couch watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail together. Pretty awesome.

I'm happy because the movie we're watching is in fact one of today's free Church-Less Movies Of The Week and I hardly ever get to watch any of these movies with someone else, let alone one of my own kids, let alone Isabela who just so happens to LOOOOVE all things Monty Python. So today is very special to me.

You may be wondering where my oldest daughter is. The answer is a simple and slightly depressing one. See, my mother-in-law decided to go to her usual church and this time bring my oldest daughter and her sleepover friend Shay-dawg with her.

... and you may know Shay-dawg as Shayla, the special guest from episode two of The Root Beer Show, America's greatest root beer reviewing webisode ...

Any chance to show off my internet show.

My wife usually goes with her mom to church and, occasionally, I have been known to go with the family to church but not to pray. I like going to church services because A) they're usually funny as hell, and B) it usually gives me a nice, quiet chance to write in my journal. Plus going with usually means that there is a 60 to 75% chance that we may get to go out to eat afterwards and going with usually puts me in the running.

So I usually go to church just to hang out and write and to listen to all the craziness that occasionally spouts from the preacher's mouth.

Did you know that Pastor, as I will now call him to save time, regularly says that there is more evidence of Jesus existing than there is evidence that George Washington was real? Yeah, the sumbitch actually said that!

Here's another one... did you know that Pastor once said that there is not one bit of proof that evolution is real?

Pastor also once said that the bible is 100% accurate and that thru science and thru math we know that Jesus was 100% real.

That's why I say I would rather stay at home and watch bad movies than go to a church that seems to be to be 300% stone cold crazy.

No offense.

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