NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest or, you wuss!


Saturday, June 30, 2012

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week ...

This film is a fairly new "release" and is widely being considered the NEW worst movie of all time. So you KNOW I had to have this film on my blog.

Enjoy ...

Yoinked from wikipedia, FilmDrunk, and the New York Times ...

"Birdemic: Shock and Terror (often shortened to Birdemic) is a 2008 independent horror film written, directed, and produced by James Nguyen. The leading cast is made up of Alan Bagh and Whitney Moore. A purported homage to The Birds, Birdemic tells the story of a romance between the two main characters as their small town is attacked by birds.

Birdemic was made with no studio support, largely self-financed and produced through Nguyen's Moviehead Pictures company for a budget of less than $10,000. Though Nguyen intended Birdemic to be a 'romantic thriller' according to its press release, the film has gained notoriety for its poor quality, with some critics citing it as one of the worst films ever made. After a limited theatrical release, the film gained a cult following and was picked up for distribution by Severin Films in 2010.

Since Birdemic was discovered at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival — where Mr. Nguyen brought it anyway and showed it in bars after it was rejected by the festival’s selection committee — it has become a cult hit on the midnight movie circuit. Crowds in Austin, Phoenix and Los Angeles have thrilled to its stilted dialogue, substandard production values and young heroes who defend themselves with coat hangers.

As a tribute to his favorite director, Alfred Hitchcock, Mr. Nguyen spent $10,000 and seven months’ worth of weekends in 2008 making Birdemic. 'I never went to film school,' Mr. Nguyen said. 'But I did go to what you’d call the film school of Hitchcock cinema.' The investment seemed to pay off when Severin Films, which has handled the DVD releases of films like Enzo Castellari’s Inglorious Bastards and Richard Stanley’s 'Hardware,' acquired Birdemic and began showing it at specialty cinemas across the country. Along the way, Birdemic received encouraging notices from the G4 geek-culture television series 'Attack of the Show,' the horror movie Web site and even, the Web site of Entertainment Weekly.

Exactly why Birdemi” has been greeted so warmly is up for debate. Joel Hodgson, the creator of the movie-mocking series Mystery Science Theater 3000, which ran from 1988 to 1999, said that especially terrible films can possess unusual charms. 'They’re adorable in a goofy way. It’s like a really weird-looking kid, where you just go, ‘Wow, he’s just cute.’ There are elements to his face that don’t work in any other place but on that face.'

I’d like you all to know that there are really only two appropriate environments in which one can experience Birdemic. The first would be from a hospital bed, as you lay there helplessly with a brain hemorrhage, waiting for the good Lord to finish you off. The second reasonable setting would be inside a cramped theater, fifteen minutes past midnight, while chugging 12 ounces of 'movie reviewing juice' from a Tecate Light can.

As a whole, the movie is a complete and utter calamity, but perhaps this is the distributors selling gimmick: to encourage as many people as they can to get together and watch the horrible movie they’ve all been hearing about. My initial fear was that director James Nguyen had intentionally set out to make a “cult classic”, something that I believe critics and fans should determine. But I can assure you, there is a small remnant of some kind of conscious production effort here that unexplainably does grant some level of justification to its viewers.

A sequel, entitled Birdemic II: The Resurrection and also to be directed by James Nguyen, has been announced for a planned release date of summer 2012. The sequel will apparently be available in 3D and the plot will center around eagles and vultures attacking Hollywood, California. Filming wrapped up in March of 2012, but a specific release date hasn't been announced yet."

Steve's Snacks Of The Week:

A Lot More Coffee
Asthma Medication
Pretty Good Popcorn
Vanilla Ice Cream
Ton Of Coffee to get Thru this Turdburger
Leftover KFC Chicken
Random Chips
Internet Porn
Sexual Frustration

... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety FOR FREE! But before the show starts lets go over a few theater rules.

First off, there's no talking in Steve's Theater during our feature presentation and talkers WILL be turned into zombies. Also, no cell phones or African-American berries in the theater. No open flames. Dispose of all trash in its proper receptacle. And please ... NO TEXTING! Very serious about that one.

And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


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