NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest or, you wuss!


Saturday, December 29, 2012

Just A Recap ...

Things are fine, if a bit slow, here in Oklahoma. We are slowly starting to settle into our new home.

Rent is tight, though. We have rent, my car payment, our insurance, and so times are tight. I wish they weren't because I have a miiiiighty need to watch Django and The Hobbit and Hitchcock. Oh well...

Still no wifi, though.

Lame, I know.

Once we get wifi I promise I will return this blog to its normal routine if showing free bad movies and big ol' titties.

That is all.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Decorating The Trees ...

We have two trees this year, two fake tress standing side by side like the twin towers.

So when my 11-year-old daughter made me a paper airplane to throw into the trees, I smiled.

Here are the pics ...

Thursday, December 13, 2012

My Two Adorable Daughters ...

They look AMAZING!

(just like their daddy)

And on a random note I would just like to say that my town here in Oklahoma is so damn small that it's like living in the show Gilmore Girls. Every time we attend a Sorghum Festival or a Tree Lighting Ice Cream Social Whatever I expect to see Sookie and the token asian family.

But gas here is only $2.87.

Suck it, west coast!

Recent Galindo Family Videos ...

The Galindo Family Band:

The Root Beer Show, episode 7:

The Macy's Parade Problem:

Good stuff.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Midwest Problems ...

Here are two pictures that I took on my drive to work recently. I think that they perfectly represent my new life in the midwest and typical midwest problems.

One is a picture of the most abbreviated sign ever made ...

The other is a typical midwest problem: cows on the road ...

I am definitely far from Sacramento.

Man... Fuck Oklahoma.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

The Blank-Blanking ...

I did something yesterday that I haven't done in a loooooong time.

But I also respect my wife's need for privacy.

So I will simply say that last night I blanked her blanks and it was AMAAAAAZING!!!

That is all.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Recent Random Pictures ...

Here are a few pictures from my phone, a few of my kids and a few pictures of the amazing Oklahoma scenery.

Also, my kids are damn amazing!

Thursday, December 6, 2012

My Brush With Death ...

My fifteen month old son is very sick today. Bad runs. On and off fever. He is an extremely cranky little boy.

The thing is, my wife has another one of her professional baking and cake decorating classes today, and she also has to be there super early today because her mom had a big ass doctors appointment beforehand. And this is all about an hour away, too.

So my wife is gone. She's gone almost all day, too. Left at around 11am this afternoon and wont be back until around 9pm tonight. So I have to take care of my sick son, feed him bottles, clean up around the house, pick my other kids up after school, help them with homework, make them dinner. And everything else.

And I have to do all of this without any cable television or wifi or computer, too.

I wouldn't be nervous if Maxwell wasn't so sick, you know?

So I'm home alone with Maxwell right now. He loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and we have no cable, so I'm showing him an old dvd of classic Mickey Mouse cartoons from the forties. I don't think he fully "gets" it. I don't think he realizes that this Mickey is the same Mickey that he knows. Still, he's having fun.

Now on to my story ...

A few nights ago, at around 11:20pm, I was driving down a dark and nearly deserted state highway here in Oklahoma.  I was about fifteen minutes away from the nearest town and I was driving up a rather steep hill when I noticedsomething that something was wrong.

The headlights coming towards me seemed to be a bit into my lane.

Turns out I was wrong.

They were IN my lane and coming right at me.

I tried to go into the opposite lane to avoid the oncoming car but the car seemed to begin to swerve back. So I stayed in my lane. And then so did the car coming towards me at a rapid pace.

And remember that I was climbing a steep hill. There was barely any room to swerve to my right without falling to my death down a sharp hill.

But the alternative was a head-on collision with a large speeding pick up truck.

So I swerved to my right as much as I possibly could without rolling down the hill. At the last second, too.

A drunked stranger tried to play chicken with me and I almost died.

Thank god I wasn't zoned out or not paying attention or something like that because I seriously almost died.

And I have no idea why, too. Was he drunk? Was he on his phone or something and not paying attention?  Did the dark and winding state highways confuse him? Was he some twisted redneck purposefully fucking with me? Why? Why did some stranger almost kill me? If I wasn't almost out of gas I absolutely would have chased that bastard down and found out with my fists why I almost died. But I was broke and near empty, left on the side of the road right next to a sharp dropoff, left wondering why the fuck I almost fucking died.

Needless to say I absolutely am NOT looking forward to getting in the car later today, let alone working late tomorrow night and driving home down that dark state highway again.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

My Depression ...

It was like a light bulb went off in my brain. I was having am amazing day with my wife yesterday and then suddenly: BAM! I was engulfed in the deepest depression ever!

Now I have the weekend off and U feel so stupid and unloved and worthless that I just don't have the energy to do anything at all.

I feel so stupid. I do everything wrong and nobody cares.