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Sunday, February 2, 2014

What I Did During Oklahoma Snowmageddon 2014 ...

-Posted on my blog.

-Complained about the snow.

-Read the "Epic Collection" Marvel trade paperback "The Amazing Spider-Man: Cosmic Adventures" which chronicles that brief time in Spidey's life when he could shoot lazer beams and fly.

-Weighed myself: 149 lbs. That's my ideal, normal, healthy weight. However, since I live in Oklahoma where I'd guestimate about 68% of males are in fact big fat redneck fuckfaces, that means that my ideal, normal weight is in fact SUPER SKINNY ASS WEIGHT by comparison.

-Seriously. There some really fat white people in the midwest. I'm skinny just by not having diabetes.

-Learned first hand the magic (and illegality) of downloading torrents.

-Watched a lot of cartoons with the kids.

-Learned that no matter how nice your damn camera is, you just cannot get a good youtube video of a Disneyland ride.

-Had a freaking super duper shit ton of sex with my wife. For real. The closer she gets to thirty the ore she's like a horny teenager. It's great.

-Felt relief after learning once and for all that the monkey brain scene in "Faces of Death" was fake. Thank gawd!

-Bitched about Batman: so he fights crime because his parents were killed when he was a child, right? Don't you find that odd that he can't let go and move on with his life? I mean, dood, shit happens. Get some therapy and move the fuck on. So one bad thing happens to you when you were a kid. I understand. That's bad. But to just focus on that for the rest of your life just seems really extremely unhealthy to me. Let go! Batman just needs some Paxil and a shrink. Seriously. Fuck Batman.

-Drank most of the coffee.

-Watched my wife and kids play in the snow. Not me, tho. To hell with Snowmageddon.

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