I'm going to try to talk about things as lightly as I can. Ok? Ok.
My wife and I are still together.
But it's been a long and difficult eleven years that we've been together. So we're going to be together and we're going to be parents together to our three (and a half) children. We will hold hands and kiss and share the same bed and live our lives together.
But we will also make a more conscious effort to have our own lives as well.
Which sucks for me because I have no life.
My wife needs this. She needs some time, some quality time away from me and away from the kids, to try and figure out who she is and what she wants in life. She had our oldest when she was just a teenager. I came in and scooped up the daddy position when she was just a year old, but that means that we started dating when Natasha was still fairly young. She needs some space. And so do I.
I need to try and have a life now.
So this is me, a 37 year old married father of three who is now trying to have his own life.
I'm trying to be positive here. Trying to see this as an exciting new opportunity for a better and fuller life and not just a sad set of unfortunate circumstances.
I really wish that I was back in Sacramento for this. I had more friends there and more opportunities to go out and do things and make friends and stuff. It's going to be much harder for me to make friends and have a life when I'm in the middle of racist Nowhere, Oklahoma. But I deserve this.
I deserve to have my own life. I've spent almost an entire year as a stay at home dad, working 1-3 days a week while my wife works and meets new people and goes out and has fun and parties. I love my kids and I will continue to be there for them, but dammit I deserve a life, too.
I'm looking to my former crush Heather as my hero and my source of inspiration during this. Heather, as I've mentioned before, is an old friend from my young Arizona days who spends most of her time now traveling the world and living this fabulous life and blogging her adventures. She has an amazing life of travel and adventure and it makes me highly jealous. But she is living a life that she wants to live. I have a right to do the same.
I can't afford insane worldwide travel, obviously. But that doesn't mean that I cannot TRY to live, you know?
Anyway, I have some friends here. Not a lot, but I have some. The people at work are nice. I'm going over to Lori's house this weekend sometime to hang out. She's nice and she's actually invited me over there a number of times but I've always blown her off. Plus I met someone, this girl in Tulsa named Bekah. We like the same stuff and she's funny and we're going to hang out sometime soon. She lives in Tulsa, which is where one of my church followers lives, so maybe I can visit him, you know? Plus I'm going to start regularly going to the movies and not wait for the family to go with me or wait to see the movie with my wife. Screw that. I love movies and I want to be able to see them.
This is me.
This is my adventure.