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Friday, February 27, 2015

Getting An ACTUAL Day Off ...

Before we start this post, I just wanted to share something. My wife has a fuzzy purple jacket I am never allowed to wear. I wore it this morning and, trying to describe how it felt, the only words I could find to perfectly express how it felt was these: it's like getting raped by a drunk muppet.

Ok. Lets do this.

What a day I had last Tuesday.

What a horrible fucking day that day started out as. I mean, it got better, but wow. That sucked.

For starters, I learned the night before that my kids would have no school on Tuesday. That really upset me because my wife and I actually had a day off WITH each other. We were going to hang out and spend some much needed time with each other. But hearing that my kids would have a day off meant that I would in NO WAY have a day off, that my day would most likely be spent taking care of three kids who yell and scream all damn day.

It had snowed fairly bad on Monday, the day before. The roads were icy and bad. But here's the thing ... they had it all under control by that evening. I drove home from work and the roads were fine. They were cleared. The ice was melting. Everything was groovy. But I guess the fear was that the melting roads would quickly turn to ice and we'd all be dead the next day, so the schools cancelled school juuuust to be on the safe side and, I suspect, just to ruin my day off.

Then my wife woke me up all happy with promises of an exciting day. We were going to spend the day together and have fun and all happiness and rainbows and happy gay magical sharks.

Then she got a phone call and found a living room set for less than $100.

So she took off.

For over three hours.

And I was tasked with doing laundry, taking care of the loud, angry, screaming, fighting kids, cleaning the messy ass living room, aaaaand removing all the furniture from the living room to fit the new stuff.

By the time my wife actually returned at around 3:30pm, the day had dwindled considerably.

But my wife took us all to Golden Corral.

So day saved.

Still, tho.

What an exhausting damn day.

So today I am hoping to get a day off, an ACTUAL day off. Just kick back with Maxwell, drink a dangerous amount of coffee, and let the day just wash past me.

Wish me luck.

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